100 Hundred Years of ParentingSeptember 18, 2017 6:22 pm
I was reading a blog about a woman getting divorce. And this person actually writes a letter of good bye to her ex husband. Well, a few things came to mind at this:
1) I think that writing our feelings out should be almost mandatory. Specially, if they are negative in any way. It let’s me review it and adjust to more accurate statements. If my emotions are angry and or accusatory, I definitely wait a day or two to re-read, review and adjust.
2) I think that writing letters of good bye, it’s a great idea! I normally have big blown arguments that I always have the right thing to say, and I win every time. Also, they are all 100% in my head. I’m going to start writing letters.
and my last thought on the subject was
3) “What the hell?! You two still have two kids ages 7 and 9 that still need to be raised! You two as parents need to be a unified team in times like, oh I don’t know, firmness and understanding during teenagehood, support and collaboration for financing college, advisors and mentors as they grow into the person that you brought into this world!! You can’t say goodbye to him!” Maybe a goodbye letter to the marriage… but even that, I wouldn’t want to forget the good times. I didn’t comment on the actual blog, of course, cause this woman clearly has bigger problems.
Here’s a throw back: In the 1998 movie “Stepmom”, there’s a scene where Susan Sarandon is sitting in a restaurant with Ed Harris. He tells her that he’s about to propose to Julia Roberts. To which Susan Sarandon says something along the lines of you don’t need my permission. You and I are over, you don’t need my approval. Ed Harris interrupts her and says the kids do! You and I are still their parents for the next hundred years…
For the record, some marriages need to end. Some relationships were never meant to stick. That doesn’t make them failures, just human, the relationships changed or evolved. Nobody is perfect and it’s hard not to follow your heart.
But I find myself judging this woman. Admittedly, I judge her based on her own admissions in her blog, but still. I wish I had more compassion for her. It’s hard not to judge other people. Specially other people’s parenting decisions. So why do we judge other people? I read a while back that it’s because, judging others makes us feel superior. Which seems to make sense. I feel bad for this woman, I do. But I feel worse for the kids.
Now I feel like I have to go do something nice for someone else, just to cleanse the bad thoughts.