Anger: a useful emotion

Today I was angry. Since the moment I woke up, and it’s just now, right after dinner, that I no longer feel angry. It wasn’t anything my family members did, and nothing had happened to make me mad. And I knew that, and kept reminding myself of it, so I wouldn’t just snap at either one. Or anyone else. So here’s what happened: ‘Susie’ (meaning me) will interview “Susie” (also meaning me)

Why were you so angry? Because I was going to take my daughter to the pediatrician. 

Why does that make you angry? Because I don’t really trust the medical community. 

Why is that? Because it feels like they are trying to “up sell you.” 

What do you mean? The last time we where there, they said that “she needed a speech specialist., because she wasn’t saying enough words” I said no she doesn’t. To which the doctor said well, let’s test her hearing, which she was under age for and STILL passed. With that in mind, he still said “she should go to the hearing specialist.” I responded, “she’s not going to that either.” Then he LEFT for, I don’t know, 15 minutes and came back to “check her leg” and I said “there’s nothing wrong with her leg.” I took a deep breath, I said: you have no idea what her history is, because you have no idea what my history is. I didn’t say my first word until I was four, you know why?” The doctor shook his head no. “Because I didn’t have the need to talk. Just like her. I keep a strict schedule for her, her daily activities are pre-planned so she doesn’t have any surprises and all of her needs are met before she has a need (or a chance) to articulate them. How about we let the child develop before we try to speed up her development?”

That doctor (who’s not my kid’s actual doctor) walked out. After that, the nurse walked in to give her a Polio vaccination and BENT the needle in my kid’s arm! That’s right, the Pediatric School’s pediatrics clinic’s nurse couldn’t give my kid the shot. 

A short while after that my mother in law came to visit for about a week, and after the FIRST afternoon with beba, my kid was just overflowing with words. Why? Cause beba had no idea what the kid wanted and /or when she wanted it. So the kids had to ask for things! 

Where we live, we don’t have a lot of options for pediatrians or OB/GYN for that matter. But if you drive down ‘doctors’ lane’, there’s a plethora of Cosmetic Surgery, Cosmetic Dentists, and of course, Urologists. Because I live in a place that the last time I saw my OB/GYN, one of the doctors that she shares an office with found it appropriate to call me, “good looking mama”. GRRRRR!!!!

Is that all? Another time, I scheduled the vaccination appointment first thing in the morning so I wouldn’t have to wait. About half hour into it, I asked what the problem was, and the nurse informed me that by law the Doctor has to be in the building for her to give me the shot. I had to wait another forty-five minutes before the Doctor rolled in. Because of course my time and resources are “not as important as her’s”.

That sucks, anything else? Don’t let me get started with the nurses. I know they have a hard job and it’s not the same everywhere (shout out to the hard working nurses at the Billings Clinic, Columbus!) but some are not advocating for the patients either. For my follow up mammogram, the nurse looked at me and said: “we really don’t like it when you bring the child, it makes it harder for us,” to which I responded, “and I REALLY don’t like when you make me wait fifty-five (FIFTY FIVE!) minutes for the first appointment of the day. We are all trying our best”.  

Are you feeling better? I am now. Today my kid stopped two medical students in their tracks because they wanted to watch the “very polite and social three year old, take her first eye exam with a grown up chart”. They brought in the head nurse to give her the last shot, and her actual doctor, said that she was an “exceptionally bright and social young lady.” Before we left she fist bumped her Doctor and the student with him. 

It took a while for the anxiety to calm down but it’s better. Also, we are not supposed to be having wine for the rest of the week and that’s been weighing heavy on my shoulders!