December 22, 2017 6:03 pm

Ok, so my house is super small.

The husband got a new job with a much much longer commute. Back when we lived in NYC, I actually worked in New Jersey. I had to drive to work, so my commute cold be at best an hour and at worst six hours. One time I got stuck on a bridge because of an accident and couldn’t move for six hours. Back then the husband found it unthinkable to live in New Jersey. He was a little pretentious.

So, the first time he got home after 7:30pm, I offered to move closer to his job. He said NO. The husband Loves his home, with a capital L! He said that unless some big corporation gives us and ungodly amount of money, he doesn’t want to move anywhere. The only exception to this rule, is if he gets a job in Montana. Then we would move to be closer to his parents. The husband said that we’ll renovate breezehome a little bit and maybe even make the bathroom bigger.

Since we mostly live outside and hangout on our pallet furniture, last week we got rid of the couch and a chair. I wanted to make that area my crafting area leaving the room all for the kid, with the exception of the industrial sewing machine. Now she has the whole room to make a mess in, and I can craft in peace. Mind you, there’s no wall between the kid’s room and the rest of the house. Her room is just not part of the living area, so even if I’m crafting and she’s playing, I can still see her.

But on Wednesday, as I was trying to clean my porch, I saw all the leftover wood from the fence repairing that we had to do after the hurricane, and my creative, crafting, woodworking, inner Martha Stuart, dumb ass decided to reorganized the closets. And I proceeded to take measurements, start cutting and sand the wood. On Thursday, the husband had taken the day off because his new job gives a day off on your birthday month, and his birthday is ALSO this month. He dropped the kid of at school, and came back to help me.

I emptied the kid’s closet on Wednesday, and Thursday I emptied my closet, painted it, and put in the floating shelves I built. Went to Ikea, to get baskets and they were just to expansive, being that I need fourteen of them. We gave my dresser to the kid, cause she also needed more room for her clothing. The husband made dinner as I was still putting things away.

While I’m glad it’s done, I don’t know what possessed me to do any of it. My hands are still vibrating from the sander, my back hurts again from lifting heavy wood, and the entire house is dirty again.

I’ve been so caught up with the Merry Holidays, and the association, and cleaning And hosting people every weekend (the kid’s birthday is on December 24th, so some of her friends are coming for cake just for a little bit!), AND still doing all the kid’s activity that I am loosing my mind. I haven’t been taking care of myself. I haven’t been sleeping, or eating right and I’ve been having way to much wine. I had a small anxiety attack this morning in the shower, I lashed out at the husband last night after he made me dinner, and yesterday Madam President and I got into it (by text no less!!) about something that happened at the directors meeting. (Oh captain, my captain, I apologize… not about my opinion, but on the way that I approached it).

Shame, regret and sadness.

Today I have to make a dinosaur cake for Sunday.

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