Feeling Stupid

I did something stupid.

So stupid in fact, that when I woke up the next day, the husband said, “good morning,” and I just blurted out what I did and he said, “yeah that was pretty dumb…”

The thing is that I do stupid stuff all the time. Once, I put a paper towel in the microwave. It started a fire and cracked the plate inside. Of course I was 7 or 8 years old, but still pretty stupid. Just recently, at the NLA meeting, I forgot my binder in the class once and I left it at home a different time. I was distracted. Another time, I plugged an american radio to an Argentinean outlet, without the power transformer. I almost electrocuted myself and I’m pretty sure one of my sisters still hates me for that. I was running late one morning and sprayed apple cider vinegar on my face… I was extra late that day!

One time I was in India, drinking at a bar with two other ladies. When we left, after the bar closed, we couldn’t find a taxi or a rickshaw and we couldn’t remember how to get back to the hotel, but somebody pulled over and offered us a ride… and we took it! That was stupid! I didn’t see it then, but now that I have a kid, I’m like what the f*** was I thinking?!

One time I was in Germany and got lost in the middle of some little town because I took the wrong train. And I had to pee. I just started walking and this town was so deserted that it took a good ten minutes before I saw a guy walking towards me. Once he was close enough, I stopped him and motioned to him that I needed to go to the bathroom. I don’t speak German. He smiled and led me to a house and I WENT IN! How stupid is that?! It was fine. There was a woman in there, she smiled when he said what I can only imagine is, this idiot is going to get herself killed or raped, but she’s gonna pee on a toilet!.

One time I was driving across country and I had a stick shift, jeep wrangler. When I got to Illinois, I learned that, back then, they had a toll plaza every few miles. It was about thirty-five cents I think. It was next to nothing. I had a big bag of change just for that reason. But I noticed at the first plaza, that the booths were separated into ‘E-Z pass’, ‘Automatic’ and ‘Standard’. I’m not sure how many plazas I went through before I realized that they were not talking about my transmission….Yeah! That is a true story.

I was doing a day hike, with just my dog, in Mt Reiner, Washington State. And at some point, I guess that the other hikers where bugging me, cause I decided to get off the path, and continue until I didn’t have any more cell phone reception. I had a bottle of water with me and maybe a granola bar. Had anything happened to me, nobody knew where I was or what I was doing and now I didn’t have cell phone reception! The epitome of stupid.

I went on a date with a boxer. I have dated a man twice my age. I have snorted salt! (Why would anybody do this, is beyond me. And we weren’t even drinking!)

But I’m a grown ass woman now, with a kid, a husband, a dog and nine chickens. I have responsibilities and things to take care of. I’ve spent half my life making sure that I didn’t do anything too stupid. I follow (most of) the rules. I don’t speed. I pick up trash at the park. I open the doors for the elderly. I give up my seat. I cook for my friends. I volunteer and we donate cash to causes we think are worthy. I offer rides to my neighbors that don’t have cars! I should know better and ninety-nine percent of the time I do. But then there are those few times when I don’t.

The kid had another sleep over with Curly Cute, since they hadn’t seen each other in while, and they helped with the chickens… as princesses!

Notice the dog-guitar… they also made a band called Rock the Boat! 2kicks was the keyboard player.