Police Department

The husband has a bunch of cousins, and all his female cousins and his sister look similar. They have the same air about them. When they are all together, it’s easy to see that they are related. And good god, are they beautiful! They are just physically stunning women. All of them have a great smile, great hair, great features, and they are all very smart. A while back I was chatting with one of the husband’s aunts, and she told me that one of her daughters had gotten pulled over, and in less than ten minutes, this Officer of the Law said the word masturbation (yes, you are reading that correctly!) three times.

A while back the husband had a programmer working for him who happened to be African-American. One time he got pulled over (because he didn’t signal to make a right turn, mind you) and before the officer reached his window, the programmer realized that his registration was in his glove compartment, and he didn’t have enough time to grab it before the officer reached him. He told us that he thought to himself, I’ll just tell him that I don’t have it. Yeah, this guy (not much older than a kid, really) would rather pay the fine than reach to the glove compartment while black. He was terrified that the officer was going to shoot him.

The officer asked him, “Who takes the registration out of their car?”

“I didn’t, sir. It’s in the glove compartment, but I’m afraid to reach for it,” the programmer said.

“Grab it,” said the officer. Even the officer understood why this guy was so terrified.

The last time I got pulled over, the officer actually said to me, “You are too cute to be having babies! Hahaha!” The kid was still an infant, and in the car.

Some people might say, “Hey, those are just a few bad apples!” The three stories that you just read, happened in two different states, on different coasts, and in different counties. That’s not a few bad apples… that is a systemic problem. So when I get phone calls from the Fraternal Order of the Police asking me for money to help pay for the defense attorneys for Police Officers against frivolous law suits, I get angry.

First, I have questions: Who decides which law suits are frivolous and which ones are legit? What process do you use to decide that? This mean that there are law suits that you deem legit or NOT frivolous, do those officers in question NOT get help for their defense? If you already know which law suits are which, why bother with the process at all? Are public defenders not good enough? Since it’s so easy for you guys to identify the frivolous law suits, I wonder why judges even bother listening to case after case…

In other words, had I filled a complaint against the officer that was inappropriate with me, retained a lawyer and filled a suit, would my law suit be considered frivolous? Would my money help the defense of the officer who sexually harassed me? How is this ethical? How are they allowed to do this?

Second, not for one second do I believe that ALL the law suits are frivolous. In fact, I would bet good money that the majority of them aren’t. I believe that, because more than 7.7 million Americans have a second job. Most of us have to work too hard to try and make ends meet and we do not have time to watch a show, little less look, find, and hire a lawyer, because we got offended! The only people filing frivolous lawsuits are big corporations (the late Justice Antonin Scalia gave corporations the same rights as people), outlawyering small businesses and overflowing our court systems with paperwork.

Nor do I believe that if there is a law suit against an officer, that I as a resident of this city should have to help pay for the defense. I already pay my taxes. If you cannot afford an attorney, the state will provide one for you. That’s what you tell the people you arrest! And, like one police officer said to me once, if you don’t want to get arrested, then don’t break the law!

Third, don’t call me. I watch you guys let people run red lights and stop signs, and speed all over For Lauderdale. I watch you guys drive on your phones, turn without signaling, and I haven’t seen a police car patrol my street in months. These are basic social conducts rules that we are all meant to follow. Start taking care of that before you have time to sit down and call me to ask for money. I’m busy with shit to do.

And last, the irony of those phone calls is that if they were calling me to ask for money to help re-train, better educate and coach the officers to better serve the communities that they work for, I would’ve happily written a check!

For the record, I know that not all cops are bad cops. I know that there are good men and women underneath the uniform that do want to better their communities. But good people don’t abuse their uniform, good cops do not get sued. I know that because bad cops barely get reprimanded.

So far, I’ve alway been very polite and simply say I’m not giving you any money. But I think that the next time, I’m going to tell them to NOT CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN. I’ll probably start getting pulled over way more often….