I got second place at the Story Slam, won fifty bucks and went for drinks after. It was so exciting that I’ve been obsessed with the next one. I signed up that night, I had a story ready to pitch, I already planned the sitter and invited the people that I want there. I practiced with my husband. I knew it was long, but I thought I could cut it back and still tell it and the audition lady and I are friendly so in my mind I was winning the next story slam and celebrating with friends!
Yesterday I pitched the story, and it got rejected.
My husband believes that I’m a very obsessive person. He might have a point. I spent the entire week and weekend on that story. I also spent Saturday baking a boat load of stuff for the “movie in park” that we were hosting for the neighborhood. And then I made dip for some of our neighbors and friends that were coming over. Because apparently, I “cant just do one thing”, or so I’ve been told. And of course, I spent most of Sunday asking said husband, if he thought that people liked what I baked and what I cooked and if he thought that people had fun. Several times.
I know it’s social anxiety and self doubt creeping up because unless my brain is actively occupied on a task or subject it can’t sit still. I often wonder how people are able to sit back, relax and enjoy the fruit of their labor. I would love to know how people can sit by the beach and fall asleep. I wonder how people not remember clearly crucial things about events that happened weeks, months or even years ago. As I’m getting older, this disorder it’s not getting better (there are things that I make a conscious effort to not obsessed about, cause they make me angry), but I have so many hobbies (writing, sewing, woodworking, cooking and baking, gardening) and projects (wine glass shelves, new crafting table, window shutters), that normally my mind is occupied. But this story slam is a new thing in my life and I want more of it! I swear, I get NRE’d up with new activities.
Now I’ve been rewriting my story, but I think I have to come up with a new one all together. If its not obsessing over something that has already happened, then my brain can’t just sit doing one thing at a time. I’m flying to Phoenix with the kid, and as I’m watching Wonder Woman, I thought this was the perfect time to write a post. Because being in charge of the kid and watching what is probably the best super hero movie of our times (if not ever), I can’t just sit here, oh no no no! I must sit here and obsess about the next story and when that’s not enough, I’ll fire up the iPad and write about obsessing about a story that I don’t have to tell, but in the event that I do, I want to win!Tags: obsessions, Wonder Woman